I have to wake up in 2 hours and 39 minutes. Im trying to decide if it would be better to try and sleep for those 2 hours and... 38 minutes, or if I should just stay up and wait until bed tonight, so I dont fuck up my sleep schedule even more. I can just watch my Grey's Anatomy, which ive been re-watching. 33 episodes in 3 days. Pretty sad dont you think?

What would you do? Would you sleep for the 2 hours and 34 minutes or would you just stay up? My roommate and I are driving back home tomorrow to either go to the beach to walk or go to the mall to walk if the weather isnt well enough. Then get chinese. Delicious chinese. I dont know what else we may do but tomorrow is going to be full...

Would you sleep? Or stay up?

Being, you know... PEOPLE, we all have lots of flaws. Stupid unreasonable things that can get thrown way out of proportion. Well today is one of my (many) flaw days.

Dont you love it when for no reason at all, you just wake up furiously angry with everyone and everything in the world? It doesnt matter if they have done anything to you or not, you are just ANGRY.
Well
I am ANGRY
for no reason. I just woke up pissed. I hate waking up pissed. The first thing I do when I wake up too is check my facebook and read through all the new statuses and posts, which of course, right now, while im ANGRY, seem like the  most annoying stupid things anyone could say and all i want to do is yell and argue with them.
For example, apparently it snowed this morning, so everybody and their mother posts a status about snow, most of it shocked and whining. Then the other half of the people post a status complaining about how everyone ELSE is posting a status about it snowing.
Good
freaking
grief!
ITS MICHIGAN! YOU REMEMBER HOW IT WAS 80°F HERE IN LATE FEBRUARY/EARLY MARCH?!? IT COULD VERY WELL SNOW IN JULY AND YOU SHOUDLNT BE SURPRISED! MICHIGAN WEATHER IS ALWAYS FUCKING EVERYWHERE!
akjsdfhlakjsehfaliesufhldsf
And of course, its dumb to get so furious over these things, because hell, I dont want it to snow. I groaned when i thought there could be a frosty layer on the ground (it seems to all be gone now). And 80° was a bit surprising in March, BUT RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IM ANGRY EVERYONE ELSE MUST BE STUPID!
It seems everything I read I can find a reason to get even more angry. Oh, you cant wait until Whatever-day because you dont work and have a break finally? I DONT FUCKING CARE! Oh, you are off having fun somewhere today? WELL IM FEELING MISERABLE SO IM GOING TO BE MAD AT YOU TOO! Rsvp-ed for a wedding? SO FUCKING WHAT?!?
Somewhere in all this I do know im being horribly unfair and stupid and angry for no reason, but that doesnt stop me.
I have to go to work later too. Now, I dont mind working. I understand its something that I need to do, and hell, it gets me out of the house, which doesnt happen very often for any other reason. But being a cashier means I get to see lots and lots of people~ Lots and lots of stupid annoying people. Being angry at everyone is not a good mindset when you have to deal with lots of people. Some will be friendly and I will try not to give them a death glare, some will try to help and make things easier and I will try not to give them a death glare, some will fuck things up and bring in noisy misbehaving kids and hold up my line and freak out over a 12 cent price difference and I will try not to JUMP OVER MY FUCKING BELT AND BEAT THEIR ASSES INTO THE FUCKING TILE.
I try so hard~
And then my coworkers will try to talk to me a little, and Ill get pissed for no reason and wish they would just leave me the fuck alone. OR. They wont talk to me at all and Ill get pissed at them not talking to me, the antisocial awkward girl who looks like she might just stab anybody who walks close.
My desk is too cluttered, my kitchen too far away and empty, Im not in the mood to do ANYTHING but sitting around is so BORING, my hair is too long and i just wana buzzcut it all off my head, my ankles are cold but i dont feel like putting on socks, THERE IS JUST SO MUCH TO WHINE OVER.
Stupid stupid stupid Desp.
_{Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid...}
Today sucks, I will find a reason to be upset with how ANYTHING turns out, and that will only make me more upset. I need to calm the fuck down.
Also
if anyone reads all the way through this you prolly deserve a cookie or hell, you should get an entire cake, but do I care? NOT TODAY! BECAUSE IM PISSY! I will care when im back in my right state of mind and then feel kind of bad about-... pffffffff who am I kidding xD I wont feel bad! ahahahaha im going to go break something.
you all have fun with your days.

OH MAN. I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM MY MOM. She had said earlier this week she got me a treat when she visited Boston and maybe on Tuesday (today) she would drop it off sometime. So aaall today (as in the HOUR ive been awake) Ive been grumbling about how it will take up my precious time, the time im not DOING ANYTHING IN and the time ill be complaining about how BORED i am, to GIVE me a treat. Or if she doesnt come, how upset ill be that she DIDNT give me a treat, even though she would have to be really busy to not be able to have time for me. And then I get this text. That says. I can stop by her place anytime i want now to pick up my treat. And im just like grrrrrrrrrrrrrr because HEAVEN FORBID I MOVE MY OWN ASS TO DRIVE 3 MINUTES TO  PICK UP THIS TREAT I DONT DESERVE AND DIDNT HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT MY MOM BOUGHT ME OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF HER OWN BEAUTIFUL MOTHERLY HEART!
I am complaining about getting a treat.
a TREAT
Im such a fucking bitch.
BUT DO I CARE?
guess
>: l

Just wanted to say
that
this year
I
am
going
to
ACEN!
YESSSSSS! END OF APRIL! I GET TO GO TO CHICAGO!
AND SEE UNO! FOR FOUR DAYS! INSTEAD OF JUST 2 HOURS! LIKE LAST TIME!
IM SO EXCITED!!!
oh man
so excited im gunna give myself a headache xD ahaha

_{in other news, for those who are interested
my stress levels have been considerably reduced. i withdrew from this semesters classes, seeing as i had missed so many days due to my issues that i was going to fail, and so that in itself is a HUGE relief. My parents have been helping me a lot, i got counseling for a little while, meds, vitamins, all that jazz. So with everything and the unusually warm/hot sunny weather weve been having for Michigan in March, I am feeling so much better : )  Its too soon to say if this is just a random high point, cuz I tend to be fairly bi-polar, but its not a constant miserable low, like i had before.
So i just wanted to say thanks to all of you who were there for me and supportive, and those of you who put up with all my crap xD
Lets hope things keep improving~}

Things have been very very wrong lately, but im getting... or, im in the process of getting help now. I just wanted to say something because I havnt really been talking to anyone, and I probably still wont for a while. I dont want any of you to think that its something you did. This is all me. Its all on my end.
So my page will most likely continue to stay blank, comments will go un-answered, i prolly wont be on iscribble or steam, and texts will be as short as i can manage without seeming like a rude ungrateful bitch.
Just wanted to give you the heads up.

<Statement of how non-important this journal is>
<Tell readers how they should ignore my journal even though if I wanted that I wouldnt post one in the first place>
<Descriptively and in a very drawn out way tell how much like shit I feel>
<State reasons or confusion over lack of said reasons>
<Repeat how horrible I feel>
<List all the things Im behind on and dont care about doing no matter the consequences>
<Mention the class(es) I know Im going to fail>
<Re-state non-caring>
<Slip in something about how little sleep Im getting and blame everything but myself for it>
<Insult myself>
<Re-repeat how horrible I feel>
<Insult self again>
<Restate how you should ignore this journal>
<More insulting of self>
<Vague depressed semi-ending-ish sounding sentence that just drifts off with three dots>